In this profession, whether sworn or civilian, we’re trained to push through. We handle crises, solve problems and show up no matter what the shift throws at us. But when it comes to our own struggles, especially with addiction, mental health or personal setbacks, it can feel a lot harder to face. So, let’s talk honestly about relapse.

Relapse is something many people in recovery experience. It can be discouraging. It can feel embarrassing. It can hit with a wave of disappointment that says, “I just undid all my progress.” In a culture like ours, where accountability and performance matter, it can also feel like failure. But a relapse is not the end of your story. It’s a painful moment, yes, but it is also information. It tells us something.

In public safety work, the pressure is real. Sworn staff face trauma, scrutiny and operational stress. Civilian professionals carry intense workloads, secondary trauma and constant responsibility. Over time, that accumulates. Sometimes the coping strategies we worked so hard to change start creeping back in. If that’s happened to you, pause before you judge yourself.

Ask instead:
• What was building up?
• When did I start isolating?
• What support did I stop using?
• What do I need now that would help me move forward?

Starting over isn’t going back to square one. You’re not the same person you were at the beginning. You have insight. You have experience. You have proof that you can make progress, because you already did. It takes real courage to acknowledge a relapse and say, “I need to reset.” That’s integrity. In our line of work, we respect people who own their mistakes and course-correct. Recovery is no different.

If you find yourself starting over, here are a few things to consider:
• Reconnect early. Reach out to a peer supporter, trusted co-worker, sponsor, counselor or support group. Isolation fuels shame. Connection reduces it.
• Be honest about triggers. Was it cumulative stress? A critical incident? Relationship strain? Burnout? Identifying patterns strengthens your comeback.
• Adjust the plan. Recovery isn’t one-size-fits-all. Maybe you need more structure. Maybe you need fewer overtime shifts for a while. Maybe you need to build new coping habits — exercise, sleep routines, decompression time after shift.
• Use your resources. Our Department provides confidential support options for a reason. Peer support, Department psychologists, chaplains and contracted counseling all exist to protect your well-being, and none of these services are documented in your personnel file.

Every time you choose to try again, you strengthen resilience. Every time you ask for help instead of hiding, you build courage. Every time you show up and do the work, you invest in your future. And your value to this Department is not defined by a setback. You are more than your worst day. You are more than a relapse. You are a human being doing demanding work in a challenging profession. Your story is still being written, and you don’t have to write it alone.

Psychological Services Bureau addresses varying degrees of substance misuse issues that adversely affect Department members and their families. In 1975, members of the Sheriff’s Department and the LAPD developed the Peace Officer’s Fellowship to advance the 12-step program begun by Alcoholics Anonymous, but in an environment for and by law enforcement personnel. Since the beginning, the Department has assisted employees with various issues related to abuse and dependence on substances such as alcohol or prescription medicines. The Substance Abuse Resource Program coordinator and the psychologists at Psychological Services Bureau, (213) 738-3500, are committed to assisting all employees with making appropriate choices to maintain a healthy lifestyle. You are also welcome to call any of the people from POF listed here.