Law enforcement personnel face numerous job-related stressors, including physical danger, administrative challenges, shift work, staffing shortages, repeated exposure to trauma and high responsibilities. In their personal lives, they may encounter additional stressors such as family conflict, relationship issues and financial strain. These pressures can overwhelm their coping abilities, leading to a crisis. Many may be reluctant to seek help due to stigma and the belief that they should manage on their own. So how can you support a partner in crisis?

WHAT IS A CRISIS?
A crisis occurs when someone faces a difficult situation and finds their usual coping methods ineffective, resulting in urgency, anxiety and panic. If unresolved, this can lead to depression, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, substance abuse and health issues. Crises often involve real losses (e.g., losing a loved one) or perceived losses (e.g., loss of a goal) and may arise from a single event or a buildup of incidents. To determine if someone is in crisis, evaluate the intensity of their emotions and behaviors and whether they align with the situation.

HOW CAN I SUPPORT MY PARTNER?
People in crisis may appear “messy,” displaying behaviors like crying, pacing, shouting or fidgeting. This does not necessarily indicate a “mental breakdown.” As someone offering support, your first task is to take a deep breath and recognize that such reactions during a crisis are normal. These behaviors often help release negative energy. It is important to tolerate their expressions of upset, as long as they are not harming themselves or others. Let them process their feelings in their own way. Here are additional techniques to support a partner in crisis.

• Maintain emotional distance: Providing empathy and support while maintaining appropriate emotional distance can be challenging. It is important to stay objective and not take on the problem as your own. Be mindful of your feelings during this process and consider using tactical breathing techniques to stay grounded.
• Be a container: By just sitting with a partner in crisis, you can lend support and strength to help them regain control. Think of yourself as a lifeline that the person in crisis can hang on to. By remaining emotionally and physically present, you send the message: “I know you are feeling overwhelmed, but I am with you, so you are not feeling it alone.”
• Do little things: You can help a partner regain their sense of control by asking simple questions, suggesting simple tasks or getting your partner to make small decisions. This moves them out of “feeling” and into “doing” and can remind them that they have control of many aspects of their life. It can also provide a break from overwhelming feelings. It is important not to do everything for the person in crisis, as this can lead to an increased focus on distressing feelings and may worsen their sense of helplessness or powerlessness.
• Consultation versus advice: Consultation involves collaboratively discussing a problem, with both parties exploring and evaluating options together. The decision on which option to pursue remains with the individual. In contrast, giving advice means telling someone what to do based on your opinion. This approach can be risky, particularly for those in crisis. People in crisis often feel helpless. Providing the answer can prevent them from regaining control by finding their own solutions. Also, guiding someone through problem-solving helps them develop valuable skills for the future. Additionally, if they act on your guidance and face negative outcomes, you may both feel responsible. It is generally more effective to help individuals discover their own solutions, as they will ultimately implement and live with the consequences.

Reach out to your partners if they look like they are struggling, and connect with additional support, such as our in-house psychologists, law enforcement chaplains and peer supporters. You can contact Psychological Services Bureau at (213) 738-3500 and ask to speak with a psychologist confidentially if you have concerns about a partner or if you are in crisis. If calling after hours, contact SIB at (213) 229-2222 and ask to be connected with the on-call psychologist. External resources such as CopLine (1-800-267-5463), the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (9-8-8) and the Crisis Text Line (text BLUE to 741741) are also helpful when someone is in crisis. If you have concerns related to suicide, it is important to not leave the person alone and to seek immediate support from a trained mental health professional.