In 1915, Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, a Canadian physician, wrote the poem, “In Flanders Fields.” The opening lines refer to fields of poppies growing among soldiers’ graves:
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
Poppies have thus become the symbol of what is known overseas as Remembrance Day, which is observed each year on November 11 to commemorate the war’s end at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month. It is one of many ways we memorialize the tremendous price of service. In the United States, Memorial Day is an intentional day of reflection on U.S. military personnel who gave their lives in service. This national tradition goes back, at least, to President Lincoln and our nation’s remembrance of the devastation of the Civil War. Following Lincoln’s assassination, Memorial Day became a day for remembrance of the “honored dead of war,” and the Lincoln Memorial was dedicated on Memorial Day 1922.
But why do we memorialize at all? Remembering rightly is incredibly important to our health and well-being, both nationally and individually. Mourning and remembrance help us make meaning of loss. On one hand, we keep alive memories of the loved and lost, cherishing their lives and telling their stories. On the other hand, we purposively remember the sacrifices made to learn how to prevent future wars and to ensure we never forget their immeasurable price. This also amounts to the cost of freedom. Indeed, we are all benefactors of this inheritance, and working in law enforcement is, in my opinion, the logical extension of this necessary protection and service to peace and democracy. Your service is a daily way to honor the cost of war and those who have paid it. You sacrifice greatly, and some sacrifice all.
Mourning and remembering are universal and essential. It is the internal work of protecting and serving our personal peace. We take time to organize our thoughts and memories to ensure we learn the requisite lessons from challenging and dangerous experiences, and we seek the help and support we need to continue our important work. For those who sacrifice everything, my argument is that we must remember them rightly. Rightly because our initial impressions and memories of tragic events are often neither as complete nor as accurate as we might believe. Misremembering or even avoiding our memories can cause us a great deal of pain and even dysfunction. And if we struggle with our remembrances, people and events past may not be remembered at all. If we take too long to remember, or take too much onboard, we can end up mired in difficult feelings like grief, guilt, anger and even despair. We can feel there is no clear way out.
So just as we set time aside as a society to remember servicemen and women and critical world events, let’s consider setting aside time to observe and care for ourselves after difficult, life-altering experiences. Like after-action reports and debriefs, taking this time fosters a healthy respect for the kinds of challenges you face; it creates a time for right remembrance, and it offers others the opportunity to care for you, if needed. You may just appreciate some help “rightly” remembering the worst events that are part of your life.
For some, the wounds and losses of war are still very present. If you look around our Department, you will notice many who wear bracelets with the names of comrades lost in war. As recently as August 26, 2021, we lost 13 servicemembers in Kabul. We can all do our part in remembering them rightly and keeping them alive in our memories. Many will honor and mourn those lost by visiting cemeteries or memorials, or spending time with friends and family who have personally experienced the loss of a servicemember. We will not typically say “Thank you for your service” on Memorial Day, customarily a day of remembrance, but will instead invite others to tell their stories of friends and family lost. I offer you the suggestion to do the same. I also strongly encourage we all take time to thoughtfully remember those who sacrificed themselves in the name of us all. Remembering rightly and together is our way forward.
If you’d like to speak more about this, feel free to reach out to the Psychological Services Bureau (PSB), which is here to provide support to all members of the Sheriff’s Department. If you would like a confidential appointment or consultation with a PSB psychologist to discuss ways to improve your ability to remember rightly, please call our office at (213) 738-3500. To obtain additional information, you may also visit our intranet site (https://lasd.sharepoint.com/sites/lasd_intranet/SitePages/psb.aspx).